I'm no Nostradamus but....

Here we are then, UK election eve. It has only been six weeks since Rishi Sunak stood outside 10 Downing Street and gave it his best otter's pocket impression.

And what a six weeks it has been. Most of it has been ugly and negative from both Labour and Conservatives. Sir Ed Davy has been having the time of his life, like a child let lose for the first time in an adventure playground. And fair play to him on that. You can put across serious messages and take life seriously (he's a carer for his son) but also smile.

Everyone's favourite political villain, Nigel Farage, decided to not only perform his best Brutus impression to Richard Tice but, at the same time, cause the Tories to do their best Corproal Jones impression by shouting at each other not to panic. However it is clear that Reform UK Ltd is the political version of a business set up to launder illicit gains. In this case, it's laundering racists, bigots, misogynists and, well, dicks. Seems the laundry isn't working so well, though, as some of its own members are disowning their candidacy. See the cases of Georgie David and Liam Booth-Isherwood.

What else have we learnt over the last 6 weeks? Well the “yoof” won't need to worry about having to partake in National Service or some sort of voluntold scheme, the claim we will all be paying £2000 in extra taxes was misleading at best and an outright lie at worse and Sir Kier won't be working a four day week as some have claimed. Rather he would like to finish BAU work at 6pm on a Friday to spend time with his family and honour Friday Night Dinner.

Will Sir Kier Starmer have a new neighbour for Friday Night Dinner?

Speaking of which, I am pretty sure should there be a national or international crisis, it wouldn't be considered rude to interrupt said dinner with a phone call. To fill you in, Starmer's wife is Jewish and they have two children. Family time is important to nearly everyone and I am sure those reading this article cherish time with your families as I do mine. Seems the Tories don't. I'd hate for them to be my parents. Think about it. Really. This coming from a party whose leaser decided to leave the D Day celebrations early.

What else is there? Beware the “super majority.” This will be dangerous for our national security. It will be dangerous for decision makers. It will be dangerous to parliament as legislation will be passed unchecked. Remember, the Conservatives had a majority of 80 after the 2019 election, their best performance for decades. This was the result of the promise to “get Brexit done.” Well, quite. Somehow the government managed to spaff that majority up the wall, get through three prime ministers, illegally ask the Queen to prorogue parliament, try to change the rules to allow their own not be be published for breaking the rules of lobbying, pass a “fiscal event” which crashed the pound, increased interest rates, saw inflation sky rocket, party like it was 1999, lie, lie and lie again and make a country extremely angry. Even if Labour have a majority (there is no such thing as a super majority in the UK political set up. A majority is a majority, it couldn't really get any worse. Indeed, things can only get better. And what became of that massive majority of 80 and the best conservative result in a generation? Well somehow they entered this election with a majority of 47. Wow. I have just looked that up and even I am surprised by how many they have lost in less than 5 years.

Which brings me to my Nostradamus prediction. The Tories will lose. Labour will win. By how much? I'm going for a majority of between 170 and 200. The Tories will be left with about 130 seats. The lib dems will overtake the SNP to third and claim their position at PMQ's.

Nigel Farage will have to find a way to work with 30p Lee, but they can talk like “ordinary people down the pub.”

So that's the round up from me. Media blackout in the UK on election day so you won't see or hear much except for politicians entering and exiting polling stations and cute dogs tied up outside. The voting booths close at 10pm and the exit polls will be released. Then the nigbt of carnage will begin. Let's see how close I am.

Oh and by the way, it could be worse, we could be voting in France or America. Every cloud and all that.

And if anyone is reading this from abroad, how the hell has all this looked from the outside?

Until next time.